Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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