We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
