You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My vagina is officially offended.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
