So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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