8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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