it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
