You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
