I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
