Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
