Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize