Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
