i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
