Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
