respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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