I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
