Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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