I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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