He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
