dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
