WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize