It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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