i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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