Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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