I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
