...so i touched it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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