I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
