I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my shit smells like andre
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
