If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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