all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
