I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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