I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
