That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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