I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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