Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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