I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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