ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
