I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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