If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
