Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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