So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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