called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
