to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
