And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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