Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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