I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
