i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
