I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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