Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
