Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
