Sry I called you an 8
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
