thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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