now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
