maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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