I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
