I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
