omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
