There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
