I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
