I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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