Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I need to align my fucking chakras
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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