I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
