We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
third nipple confirmed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize