just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
