i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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