I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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