would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
