Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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