3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
