I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
