There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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